Loving on Your Future Self During the Holidays | Ep.35

This show is about freedom. Freedom from your constant struggle with food and letting the size of your thighs determine your worth. Join me weekly for no whole fat, unfiltered girlfriend kind of conversations that will inspire, teach and empower you. As we tune into our own body's wisdom and tune out of the diet industry lives, we can live our most radiant, pleasurable and fulfilled lives. My name is Chanci Dawn. I'm a non diet nutritionist embodiment and mindset coach. But most importantly, I'm a woman on a mission to grow a deeply connected and conscious relationship with food and my body. And I'm here inviting you to do the same. Let's go.

Hello, beautiful soul. Welcome to today's episode all about how to anticipate your needs ahead of time and how to actually take care of yourself by doing so. So happy you're here today. For me, it's actually snowing out. And this is it's actually not rare here on Vancouver Island anymore. But growing up it sure was I remember we would get like maybe a day of snow and the entire town would shut down. And it was so so fun. And so I always feel just really excited. You know, I'm such a kid of heart still. And when it's snowing like this, I just want to wrap myself up in a blanket and get some hot chocolate read a book by the fire. So that's what I'm gonna do after I record this podcast episode for you today. And this is actually a very random episode. Sometimes what happens is I'll be in my kitchen, and I'll just be thinking about about you guys and what's going on in my life and in my my clients lives. And my brain is always like, what can I share? What can I bring on there to really serve them and support them, and their own journey towards embodied eating. And really, essentially what this is, it's getting out of our own way, so that we can have that beautiful relationship with our bodies and with food that we all really, really deserve. So anyways, my brains always thinking about this. And sometimes I'm like, Yeah, write that down. I'm going to take some time to plan it out. And I'm going to deliver this podcast to them. And then sometimes like today, my brains like, Ah, no, you need to do this right now because it's fresh on your mind. And you don't need to sit down and plan forever. So that's one of these, it's just sort of like a rolling off the tip of my tongue type of show. And what's interesting is I often get the most response, the most positive response from these kinds of shows that are a little bit more or a lot more spontaneous. So settle in, if you are, if it's snowing outside, why don't you get yourself a warm cup of tea, cozy blanket. And let's just talk about how to take care of ourselves by anticipating our needs ahead of time.

Another way I like to think about this is turn down service. So have you ever been to one of those really fancy hotels where they go in and the before, you know, maybe you're out at dinner or whatever, but they'll go in and they will turn down your comforter, they'll put chocolates on your pillow. Maybe they've decorated your bed with some fancy swan? I think about Mexico because they actually do this too. But the turndown service I'm talking about is that those exquisite, luxurious hotels, and I've only been to one a couple of times, handful of times, but I'm always so impressed. And I always feel so special when I walk in there and they have a scent of lavender, perhaps in the air, and a yummy chocolate for me. And it's all turned down ready for me to get all cozy in bed. And so that's what I like to think about this when we think about turndown service. To me, it's how can you take care of your future self ahead of time. So we're heading into the holidays, by the time this show airs, we're well into December. And chances are there's a lot of opportunity here for you to anticipate your needs and to plan how to take care of yourself ahead of time. So the neat thing about that brat brain of yours is that she really can only look to what's going to happen in the future by the probability according to what happened in the past. Like we've talked about many times on the show. It's Your upper brain that big sister brain, your Neo frontal cortex that can really look to the future to go right. Logically, these are my goals. I'm going to delay gratification, baba, baba blah. But that primal brain of yours, your brat brain, she always looks to the past to go, oh, yeah, this is what's happened before. So most likely, this is what's going to happen again, she's more into the probability your upper brain can think into possibility. So we want to use both parts of your brain here in order to anticipate your needs ahead of time and to be able to love you through them. So first of all, let's drop in and really tap into your primal brain to that brat brain. And again, quite often, we want to box her up, she can be like a little chaotic, or a lot chaotic, and she is just wanting to keep you safe. So she keeps you playing small. She's the reason you self sabotage, she thinks it's serving you. But it's not remember that. But in this case, this is something that she can actually really serve you in. So if she can look to the past to see what's probable for the future, she can look to past holiday experiences, to think about, right? That is usually what happens. This is usually what my family does. These are usually the circumstances that I'm finding myself in. These are usually things I struggle with all of that stuff. So let's look to her to look to our past to see what probably will happen this year. Because this is kind of the way it is things repeat. We are we're human beings, we just get in our patterns. So that includes the holidays. Okay, so when I'm thinking about this things that I know, my brain knows will most likely happen are everyone's going to be talking about dieting, everyone's going to be talking about when I say everyone, I'm talking about friends and family that I'm around. So this is one thing I've talked about you before, this isn't like a big boundary issue. For me, this is just something that I'm like, right? This is what they're doing. They're they're adults, they have agency, they can talk about this, they can plan their diets, but I'm just not going to be a part of it. Right? I'm not going to have to say anything to them to stop unless they're talking about it in front of my daughter or my son, then I absolutely will, because that's a boundary. But in this, it's like, okay, I know that this is going to happen. So I'm going to go to that upper brain of mine, that big sister, that beautiful brain that can parent you with so much love, and grace and compassion and curiosity. So in this case, it's like, no, I'm not going to make a big stink about it, I'm not going to have to ask them to stop unless it's in front of my kids, or my niece and nephew. But what I can do is anticipate my need ahead of time and go right, what would really serve me here? What would really, really help to call my own nervous system so that I don't get wrapped up in it? I don't start spinning, you know, thinking, Oh, right there, right, I should be going on a diet, I don't get wrapped up in the comparison game. Okay, so noticing that these are the probabilities from looking at the past, and then going, what do I need here. And you get to plan for this, you get to plan how to take care of your future self, who most likely will be in the situation. So for example, one thing could be, I'm actually going to write down some new thoughts that I'm working on believing. So listen, back on the last two episodes, we talked about this, okay. And then we also talked about ladder thoughts and how important those are. So that latter thought episode was just last week. So go back and listen to those to really prepare you for this, okay, this way that you can take care of yourself, I'm going to have like four or five new thoughts that I am working on believing is true that I'm working on embodying as my belief as my value here. So I'm going to work on these and I'm going to write them down and put them in my bag or my wallet. So when people are talking about this, and perhaps if it's triggering me, and it's making me doubt, my path here, with embodied eating, I'm going to excuse myself, and I'm going to go to the bathroom. And I'm not just going to go and like take a break away from the talk. I'm going to take out these new thoughts. I'm going to meditate on them. I'm going to read them to myself, and I'm going to remind myself why I'm choosing to believe these new thoughts get routed back in that why am I doing this? Why is this important to be? Why is this worth to this discomfort of saying No to dieting or saying No to putting my body down with the rest of them. Why is this important? Write this down, have these new thoughts. And if you need to get some ladder thoughts, stick them in, like stick them up front. So for example, it could be like, I choose freedom. Okay, that could just be a simple New Thought I choose freedom, freedom from dieting, freedom from putting myself down freedom from self criticism, I choose freedom. And then a lot of thought could be, how would I feel right now? And that just lets your nervous system calm down? And just consider what if you chose freedom right now? What if this was your new reality? What if this is something that you just embodied? How would you feel and allow that emotion to rush over? You really, really imprint it? Ah, ease grace, maybe compassion for those who aren't. Check in with yourself? What would this feel like to you? Okay, so this is just one example. And there are so many different new thoughts that you can create for yourself, to be able to take care of your future self, have them ready. And now let's talk all about the food opportunities that you have to really honor yourself in during the holidays. So a reminder, when we're talking about embodied eating, honoring yourself is eating for fuel, as well as pleasure. And we really just want to get rid of any sort of restriction and denial or any sort of stuff like that, because that ultimately leads to binging and to this nasty cycle of dishonouring our body, which in the end really creates more of a disconnection and more of a problem that we want to avoid. So the whole purpose here is to honor yourself to come home to you to build this relationship with your body, so that you can feel free. So let's just make a plan right now,

this is an agreement, we're shaking hands and hugging on it really tight, you are not going to restrict you are not going to deny this holiday season. Okay, promise me this rooted in permission, you give yourself permission for fuel, you give yourself permission to enjoy pleasure. And you do it in a way that is honoring to you. When you do this, this will absolutely eliminate any of the crazy restriction binge cycles, in the end, you are most likely going to eat and less. Okay, now that's not the goal. But this is actually what happens. And it almost seems counterintuitive, but it really does work this way, give yourself permission, and your body will show you what she actually wants and needs to thrive. So let's put this into practice. Okay, so no more restricting, we're not going to do that. And we're not going to get into this binge cycle. And we're definitely not going to go well screw it, whatever. I'll start again in the new year, and then plan to have this diet, New Year's resolution that'll last for maybe three weeks only to fail and the cycle continues enough of that, that is not going to happen again, you are choosing freedom, go back to those five new thoughts that you have created, solidify those as your true. So in this when we're looking at food, one of the ways we can actually really serve ourselves is through anticipating our hunger ahead of time. This is preliminary hunger. So for example, if you're going to be out shopping for a long time, and it's going to be a really busy shopping center, quite stressful, lots of energy. And the food court is really your only option. And say you're just not really that keen on any of the food there. It's not very pleasurable for you. It's overpriced, and it leaves you feeling pretty crappy. Now, this might not be your experience, you might love the food court. And there might be something there that you're like, oh my gosh, this is so fun and pleasurable, and it totally increases my enjoyment of shopping, if that's your seen more power to you. But let's just pretend here for an example, just for the sake of this that you're like yeah, no doesn't serve me. So in this case, what we want to do is we want to eat before you head out or bring food that'll keep you add a zero to plus two on the hunger scale. So if you haven't already listened to the episode on the hunger scale, it was one of the very first ones that I ever recorded, go back and do so so that you know how to use this tool for yourself during this situation. So we want to keep yourself out of the negative three, we want to eat between the two, negative two is as hungry as you want to get. And positive two is as full of as you want to get. And this isn't again, so that you can lose this weight. It's not a hunger fullness diet, really, we need to stay out of that as well. This is a tool to tune into your body for her actual needs. So we want to stay out of negative three, negative four. The main reason you want to do this is because when you go there, you're so hungry, that it's impossible to really tune in and ask your body what she actually needs. At that point, your primal brain is just like, driven to eat. Because she's feeling hungry, she's feeling stressed. And to her, she's like, that's the only thing that's important right now. So she will eat lead you to eat things that might not be for fuel and might not even be for pleasure at all. And then in the end, it doesn't serve you or satisfy. So let's drop drop that cycle completely. And what we want to do is we want to, like I said, have snacks on hand, or eat before you go out? This is the key. When you eat this way you eat even when you're not hungry. So if you're at like a zero or a plus one on the on the hunger scale, that's absolutely absolutely okay. You're eating enough to bring yourself to a positive two, so that when you're out shopping, you don't get to that negative three state. Hope this is making sense. This is actually a little bit like an advanced tool. But it's such a powerful one. So I do want to teach it and listen to this a couple of times over if you're like, oh yeah, this sounds great. But I'm not quite sure how to apply it. Listen it over and again, always message me if you have questions. I'm always here to answer them. So we want to eat ahead of time to be able to keep you out of that negative three to keep you within the two so that you can honor your body's signals for its need for pleasure as well as fuel. Okey dokey. My last scenario here is feeling alone. So like I said, the very first example there's a lot of people in out there who are wrapped up in the whole diet mentality, expect it, have compassion for it. And in that seek out someone who you can link arms with, whether it's a coach, whether it's a buddy, whether it's a family member, someone who's like yeah, I get this I'm listening to it tastes like freedom too. And I want to do this as well. Let's do this together. This is a beautiful way to take care of your future self linking arms with someone who's doing it too. So if you happen to find yourself in a situation where you're tempted to restrict when you're tempted to diet, when you're tempted to beat yourself up or you're tempted to say screw it, I'll start again on the New Year. Give her a call. texter have someone there in your back pocket who is on speed dial for you and your you for them. That is so important. Doing this alone is not easy. Doing it with a friend can actually be fun, supporting each other encouraging each other and really celebrating every little positive step forward. There you go, my friend. I hope that this episode serves you and really helps you tune in to how to take care of your future self, you are so worth doing this. So think of other ways that your primal brain knows that you need some extra love. Okay, she can look to your past for what's probable for this future. And you can link arms with yourself to really anticipate your needs ahead of time and turn down those comforters and give yourself a yummy chocolate. I really thank you so much for being here. Again. As always, please connect with me on Instagram. Drop message me, let me know you're listening. And please share this with your closest friend who needs to hear this too. I love you. I appreciate you. Till next time. Bye bye