Last week fear hit me smack dab straight in the face.
I met a coach, who I adore, and wanted to join her mastermind.
Then, I discovered how much the investment was and I instantly started to resist.
All sorts of thoughts came up and I convinced myself that it was a bad idea until something super cool happened.
A fellow coach, followed a “nudge”, and messaged me. I told her what was up and she responded with this wisdom:
“Is it the – don’t touch a hot stove kind of fear, or is it the kind of fear that keeps you from stepping on the stage when you have something amazing to say”.
The answer was obvious.
Here’s the thing – there’s very little that you actually need to fear. Your life is not constantly in jeopardy and danger is not imminent.
Yet, because you are human, your brain is constantly on alert for danger and thoughts about money, embarrassment, failure, etc. will create emotions that make your brain respond like you’re actually going to die.
Here’s the truth: Most goals worth doing are going to come with a slew of uncomfortable emotions.
It’s actually your resistance to feeling these emotions that’s creating the fear.
Now, here’s the awesome news! Just as nature gave you fear to protect you from danger it also equipped you with a counter emotion that’s available to you at any time – courage!
Courage doesn’t exist without fear and when you call on it to help you overcome your fears your courage will be strengthened ~ like a muscle that grows when it’s worked out
Here’s how to do this:
> Feel your feelings: Become aware of the ways you tend to distract from the emotions you’re not wanting to feel (like with eating, sleeping, watching tv, etc.) and instead of buffering with these allow yourself to get down deep with the uncomfortable feelings that come up.
> Know your thoughts: Write down all the thoughts that come to you when you think about the situation (this is called a thought download). Ask yourself “do these thoughts serve me”?
> Think better thoughts: If you aren’t in danger then the thoughts that are causing your fear don’t serve you. So the next step is to find ones that do!
One thought that I find helpful is “I can feel any emotion that comes my way”.
When I think this thought I remind myself that the worst thing that can happen is that I’ll have to feel a feeling.
That, I can handle – and so can you!
Back to my coaching investment.
As I sat there accessing all the emotions I was resisting I realized that what I was really fearing was failure.
Failure, I decided, would not kill me. Yes it would suck but the worst that can happen is that I’d have to feel that suck.
And here’s the kicker. By not going for it I was actually failing ahead of time which, to me, is worse.
So, I invested in the coaching and I immediately felt excited.
And then I wanted to throw up with doubt.
And then I felt excited again and so proud of myself for showing up for me!
It’s been a week since my card was charged and my courage muscles still feel achy.
They’re being worked out more than ever before and it feels so good to go through this pain.
Now, it’s your turn:
Where in your life is fear causing you to play small?
Whatever it is pay attention to it.
You deserve to live the life you desire!
Also – make sure to download this free guide. It’s full of thoughts and further coaching to help you feel better no matter what life throws your way.