Pillar 4 of Embodied Eating – Honey Coated Compassion | Ep.09

The journey to becoming an embodied eater can come with its own challenges. Hey, you’re a human and this is to be expected! Join Chanci as she shares some of the most common challenges and how to choose and use compassion all the way to success!

About the Host:

Chanci Dawn is a non-diet certified nutritionist, mindset and embodiment coach whose soul’s purpose is to help women create the most wildly free and loving relationship with food and their bodies. After over 30 years of dieting and recovering from her own eating disorder Chanci is determined to help women find the same freedom she has through embodied eating and pleasurable living. Chanci believes that when you fall madly in love with yourself you’ll have the power to change your world and from there you can change the world around you making embodied eating a deep and powerful form of activism! 

Find Chanci on the following platforms:

Website: http://www.chancidawn.com

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/theembodiednutritionist

Facebook: https://facebook.com/chancidawn

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Chanci Dawn:

This show is about freedom. Freedom from your constant struggle with food and letting the size of your thighs determine your worth. Join me weekly for no whole fat, unfiltered girlfriend kind of conversations that will inspire, teach and empower you. As we tune into our own body's wisdom and tune out of the diet industry lives, we can live our most radiant, pleasurable and fulfilled lives. My name is Chauncey dawn. I'm a non diet nutritionist embodiment and mindset coach. But most importantly, I'm a woman on a mission to grow a deeply connected and conscious relationship with food and my body. And I'm here inviting you to do the same. Let's go.

Chanci Dawn:

Hey there, and welcome to the show super pumped to finally be recording today. I have sat down probably about five times already to get those to get this going. And every single time someone started mowing their lawn, I swear, it's like the community called a sack lawn mowing day. And it's not super conducive to podcasting. But it's quiet now. And the garbage truck just left. So I'm hoping to be able to fit this in. So before we start in all of the content, the juicy content of the show, I just want to do a shout out to my friend Jen, I ran into Jen, she's an old high school, a friend of mine, and I ran into her at Costco last week. And first of all, it was so good to see her. And second of all, she shared that she has shared this show with one of her friends who's really struggling right now with food and her body. And that her friend is really getting a lot out of the podcast. So Jen, thank you, love you. Thanks for sharing. And to Jen's friend, I don't know you, but welcome. And I just pray that this podcast continues to serve you and reach out at any time. Super, super happy to have you, dear listener, listening to this show today. Today, we're going to be talking all about compassion. Now compassion is the fourth pillar in the it tastes like freedom, embodied eating program, I probably should have shared this one first. Right? We talked about the first three already, if you haven't listened to it, go back, listen to them. Because these are all the foundations that this entire program is built on. And it's so important to understand them all and to implement them all because they really do work together like a puzzle piece. So compassion, as I said, probably should have been first but it's not as sexy sounding as pleasure and permission. So I did those first. And but when we look at compassion, it really does have to be at the foundation of it all. Curiosity was the last one we chatted about. And curiosity is so vital in this right to be able to really get into your beautiful body, your beautiful brain and figure out what is really going on. So you can create new patterns. But before that happens quite often, we need to drop into compassion. Because if you and I'm sure you have because you're listening to the show, if you have been a dieter, right, if you have been someone who's been disconnected from her body, and just really working to make it smaller all the time. If you have been in a place of depth, depriving yourself restricting yourself or, you know, over exercising yourself in this punishment approach, chances are you have felt a lot of shame, guilt, self judgment, failure, feelings of not good enough, all of these things coming up. Because this is actually what the diet industry creates. It comes from a place of you are not enough. And now we're going to give you a protocol, this plan to follow which is actually going to be impossible long term. And then you're going to fail and you're going to feel shame, you're probably going to say okay, I'll start again on Monday. And this actually perpetuates all of those feelings of not enough. So enter in compassion. And when you go from a dieter to starting to really discover what an embodied Eater is, right? When you start to question this for yourself and really get curious and go Why do I want to do this and what is important to me and how do I actually want to feel in my life and how do I want my relationship with food and my body to look like when you're doing this? But what will often happen is we'll bring old patterns will bring these patterns of our dieting experiences into embodied eating, because this is what our brain knows. So you can expect that you can expect that it's going to feel like you might be doing it wrong or you're on again off again and all of this and it does take time to rewire these thoughts to rewire the different patterns. And to create this freedom, which we are here for, right? If you're listening to the show, that is what you're here for. So

Chanci Dawn:

when you are feeling guilt, when you're feeling shame, when you're feeling confusion, when you're feeling any of these emotions that might be quite familiar to you. What I want you to do is sink into what I call honey coated compassion. Okay, for me, this looks like stopping. And sometimes I'll literally put my hand on my heart and on my stomach. And sometimes I take my two hands and I put them together. And I visualize my little self, right that that innocent, that precious little self who just wants to feel good, who just wants to feel enough? I visualized her my hands. It's like, Sweetheart, what are you needing right now? What's really going on for you? You just ate all the Oreo cookies definitely wasn't in pleasure. How come? What's going on for you, honey? Right. So you see, this is the way we talk with compassion to ourselves. This is the way we get into that feeling state of gentleness, of love, of ultimate acceptance for ourselves. And in this place is where we can actually get curious. So if you're, let's say, if you went and ate all the Oreo cookies, and you're beating yourself up, you're like, I'm never going to get this right. I actually can't tune into my body's cues, I'm going to gain all this weight, all of these different thoughts are gonna come in, again, these ones will create disease, right? These ones will create that shame. From that point, it's really hard, if not actually impossible, because your brain is so busy trying to look for more evidence of what's going wrong. Right? Remember, that is what she's programmed to do, she will always look for evidence of what she's already thinking. So if she's thinking you're a failure, she's going to look for evidence of that more. This creates massive stress in your body, the your nervous system is in turmoil. And this is a big reason why we stay on the crazy making diet cycle. So step back, honey coated compassion, feel it, this is essential. So think about this right now. How does your body feel when you're feeling compassionate for yourself? Just take a few seconds here, if you're not driving, if you can even close your eyes, put your hand on your heart, the other one on your womb space. How does compassion feel? For me, compassion feels very soft. Feel it in my stomach. It's just a sense of ease. My shoulders are dropped, my jaw is like not tense. The opposite of that? At ease. Ha feels warm, it feels like a hug. How does it feel to you really figure this out, get curious about this, because what we want to do is imprint this sensation of feeling compassionate for ourselves. Because once you have, then you can access it again. And we want to do this with intention. So if you're in a place of the shame spiral, and you're like, Wait, stop. I'm going to choose compassion here so I can get curious and actually love myself through this. Go back. Remember how this feels created again in your body? And then from that place, get curious and move on. This is a little difficult at first if you're really used to beating yourself up, okay. And a lot of times people will think will clients will say to me, if I feel compassion for myself, if I stop, like, feeling guilt about things I ate or things I did, if I start feeling compassion, I feel like I'm just going to do it all I'm just going to let myself go entirely. And I want to promise you that that is actually not what is going to happen. Compassion calms your nervous system. It shows your rat brain it shows your body that you are safe. And from this place you can start to make very wise, very loving and very Intune choices and decisions for yourself.

Chanci Dawn:

Okay, so now that we've chatted about compassion, you felt it, you know how to access it. And if you couldn't keep trying, keep practicing. Notice, maybe if you feel compassion for another, sometimes that's way easier, right? So if you're feeling compassion for another goal, right, this is what compassion feels like in my body, notice it, and what you focus on will expand. So if this feels hard to you at first, don't worry, that is okay, where you are is perfect. This is a journey. And the more you practice, and the more you tune in intentionally, the easier it's going to become. So right now, I want to talk about a few things that are really common when you start embodied eating when you make this decision to build this beautiful relationship with food and with your body and stop beating yourself up. Okay, so there are some things you can totally expect to start happening to come up for you, when you start embodied eating. These are really normal, but a lot of times it feels like such a setback, and very confusing. So I just want to prepare you ahead of time I see this all the time, these things come up for my clients all the time and for myself. So let's get some awareness around this. Let's prepare you so that as you move forward in your journey here, you can call on compassion. So one of the top things that so many of my clients struggle with and honestly, so do I still is the fear of gaining weight with embodied eating. This is really normal. And it's okay, you live in a society that perpetuates fat phobia, right? We are taught from young, young, young young girls, that being Slim is ideal. So if you are afraid of gaining weight, if at first, when you're doing this, it feels really, really terrifying to you. Please take heart that you are normal. This is not something that means that you're doing something wrong. It doesn't mean you shouldn't be down this path. It's not like a warning sign. Your brain might think it is right, your brain is wired to look out for this threat. But it's not. It's normal. So what we want to do is we want to come back again, honey coated compassion, feel it? It's okay, honey, it's okay that you are feeling this way. It's okay that this fear is coming up. And then what we want to do is go back to your why. Get curious, why am I doing this? What does freedom feel like to me? Why don't I want to gain weight? What is it that I have? What stories do I have about gaining weight? That or what stories do I have about gaining weight that's making me feel so terrified right now. And then from this place, you can start to undo the stories you can reprogram with truth, the truth of who you are, what you want to be on this earth, how you want to feel how you want to move forward in your life. This is actually such a blessing when these kinds of fears come up. Because it does give you that opportunity to get real with yourself. And when you do make sure you reach out for the support that you deserve. Because you are not an island. And this is something that really is so important to have support and community around as you move forward. That brings me to number two, there's a very, very common fear when we start embodied eating that you're not doing it right. I hear this all the time. And of course, of course, this is a fear because if you are used to dieting, then you're used to having like a on again off again. I'm either on the wagon, I'm doing it right I'm following the plan on being good. Or I'm being bad. I'm cheating. I suck bla bla bla bla bla, like we've talked about before the diet industry sets you up to feel like a failure. And that actually keeps you in the loop. It keeps you in the cycle of dieting. We want to stop that we want to interrupt this in your brain. But the pattern of thinking I'm not doing it right or I'm on again and off again will still be there and turn in compassion of frickin course it is this is what your brain knows she doesn't know anything different. grant. So with that opportunity, again, we get to look at ourselves, and we get to remind ourselves, this is nonlinear, there is no on again, on or off. Again, this is a journey. This is me building a relationship with my body, and relationships will have their ups and downs. And that doesn't mean that they're failing. It doesn't mean that they're not right. It is normal. And anytime you feel like you've done it wrong, is actually the opportunity to come at it with curiosity of going ooh, what can I learn about myself here, it is a blessing. Number three, the temptation to diet again, we'll be there. Expect it? Again, nothing has gone wrong, it is totally Oh, Kay. We are really used to that on again and off again, we're really used to the yo yo. And sometimes with embodied eating with these other fears of the gaining weight of thinking you're not doing it, right, these can lead us into a screw it, I am actually just going to go back on that diet, or so and so just lost 25 pounds, I want to I'm going to do this again. And then what can often happen is when we start to have these thoughts, or maybe we go back on a diet, right, then we think crap, I suck I fail embodied eating doesn't working. That goes back to that previous point, if I'm not doing it, right. But when we choose compassion, we're like, oh, yeah, of course, my brain is gonna want to go back to dieting. That's what she knows. Of course, I have fears about that. I see you. I see you. I love you. I'm choosing again to commit to you. This is you speaking to yourself. I also see you and I also love you. But I'm saying you're saying this to yourself. Go back to your why. Once again, honey Kota, compassion, get curious and be gentle. Now, a number four, a lot of people find that they have a hard time connecting to their cues, the cues of hunger, the cues of fullness, the cues of even what your body actually wants. And if you've been dieting for a long time, you can definitely expect this because diets actually train you to disconnect from these cues. So what we want to do is we want to have tons of patients write tons of curiosity and start to become detectives. What does my body need to thrive? What makes her feel energetic and alive and sexy? And just like super on fire for life? What types of foods feel so good in me, what brings me pleasure, asking these questions and really starting to become curious and having fun with it. That is such a key here. We can feel so much like shame around oh my goodness, I haven't been listening to my body forever. And she is so do this disconnected from me. And we can start to feel bad about that. Or we can go oh, okay, here we are coming home, what do you need, I love you, I am here. And in time, you will start to build that trust factor with each other, your body and your brain and your soul. Now, number five, a really, really common fear, a common thought that comes up for most people, when they start this is the thought of I'm going to lose control. If I give myself permission to eat what my body wants, I'm going to eat the entire fridge. And I'm probably never going to stop eating. When you've been in a pattern of restriction and deprivation for so long. This can feel chaotic, it can feel like ah, I'm never gonna stop. Oh my goodness. Like I need some sort of box to put myself in, I need a plan to be able to stay in control. But my friend, trust me you don't. And on the other side of these feelings of chaos is peace. It's calm, it's something new. Don't be afraid of the chaotic feelings that you may feel in the beginning. You will not lose control, you will you will stop eating. And there's gonna come a point like we've talked about before, where you're going to be in this state of this beautiful dance with you and your body. And your body is going to be speaking to you and you're going to learn how to trust her and she's going to learn how to trust you. And together you're going to learn once again that food is safe. Food is safe, and it is there and there's an abundance of it and you don't have to go crazy and eat it all. And in this Place, a beautiful balance will start to happen. Now number six, I want to leave you with this one, it's really important, you may feel very much like an island. In this when you first start, the diet lies the lies of the diet, industry, diet culture runs so thick and so deep in our society, that compassion for others is going to be extremely necessary in this if you are going to feel peace and at ease in your own journey in this process, people are going to have thoughts people will make comments, people are going to be talking about their own diets, you're going to be inundated with so much of this diet cultures message around you. And compassion again for this compassion for others compassion for you know your grandma who comments on how many servings of dessert you're having, I don't know, whatever it is, but compassion for others is going to go so far in your own healing journey. So choose compassion for yourself, choose compassion for others create peace for yourself in this, you are worth it. So there we go. That is what I want to share with you about compassion, please reach out, please reach out if you have any questions at all. The best way truly is just to DM me on Instagram at the embodied nutritionist. So let's connect there and DM me and let's keep this conversation going because it is an important one. Now before we go, I have one more thing to share with you. I have been getting some inquiries about how to work together. So I want to let you know that right now. I'm actually not taking on any new clients until September, I'm planning on taking the summer to go boating and camping and to just really immerse myself in so much pleasure. And then in September, I am launching the group it tastes like freedom program. So this is a community, it's going to be a small group of hands selected individuals who are really ready to do this work to apply everything we're learning on this podcast and to have the support that they need while doing so. So if you're interested in this, why don't you drop message me again, head over to Instagram at the embodied nutritionist. And let me know that you want to be on the waitlist. I will be starting applications in August and then in September is the big launch date. So if this is something that you're like, Heck yeah, I definitely want to learn more about it. shoot me a message, get on the waitlist, and we will book in a discovery call so we can actually get on, Zoom together on a video chat with each other, get to know each other and see if this program I'm watching in September is right for you. Okay, my friend, have a beautiful rest of your week. I hope you have a great weekend and I really look forward to talking with you next week.

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