When the Postive Vibes Can Stuff It

We’ve all been there – standing in the kitchen snapping at our kids while stuffing our face with stale raisins we found at the back of the pantry.

In those moments how do you feel? Pretty crappy hey?

I get it.

You see all those happy memes on facebook telling you to think positive and have gratitude.  

But in the moments when you want to throw the stale raisins at your kid it’s realllly hard to have “positive vibes”.

 

Here’s my advice – feel more negative.

WHAT THE? Yup, you heard me – go deep with the negative.

Before you write me off as a life coach please know that I’m all for positive thoughts – but hear me out on this ok.

 

Our culture is afraid to feel bad.  

Instead, we resist and bury our emotions all the while becoming big ass grouches with chips on our shoulders.

When you’re losing it in traffic it’s not because you’re a lunatic – it’s because you simply haven’t allowed yourself to feel what’s really going on for you.

 

I want you to understand that you’re not supposed to feel happy all of the time.

Read that again please – you are not supposed to feel happy all of the time.

The fact that you feel like crap some days – or even quite often doesn’t make you broken.

It makes you human.

 

As a human you can expect to feel negative emotion (up to ½ of the time is normal) it’s called contrast – and it’s because of the negative that you’re able to feel the positive.

There’s no happiness without sadness.

 

Yet, the negative is painful. Sometimes excruciatingly painful.

So we…

Pretend it’s not there

Push it away

Avoid it

This resistance of your emotions actually denies you the experience of fully being alive as the more alive you are willing to be the more negative emotion you will experience.

 

So I offer this to you –

Take the time each day to allow yourself to feel.

This is best done in those moments when you find yourself wanting to escape (like eating when you’re not hungry).

Instead of eating cookies, sit down and describe the emotion inside of your body. Allow it to come up without judging yourself – just feel.  

Notice how long it lasts and see how deep you can go with it.

Remember, the only way out of an emotion is through it.  

And only after you’ve felt those feelings will you be able to change them with thinking better thoughts. 

 

Learning how to experience all the emotions will drastically improve your quality of life while at the same time lowering your impulse to yell at your kids.

There you go.  You are now free to stop feeling crappy about feeling crappy.  

You’re welcome